Confessions of a No-Longer Teenage Grammar Queen

November 5 2010 by Jake Frodsham in School Section |No Comments

Today’s “Guest Blogger” is Allison Powell, an English and German teacher at Arizona Virtual Academy. Welcome, Allison!

Who has two thumbs and thinks analyzing adverb clauses is a good time? THIS GIRL!

Wait! Come back! I promise there will be no sentence diagramming here. Just know, that as an English teacher, I can be both your best friend and your worst nightmare, and I apologize for when the grammar monster in me comes out a little too, um, exuberantly.

The thing is, my husband (who is a self-described terrible speller) has banned me from the following activities: Scrabble®, Pictionary®, and calling places of business where the employees seem to take delight in bungling the English language for all to see on their marquees. There was an… let’s call it an incident, shall we? There was an incident at a local restaurant involving the sign on the restroom door had no apostrophe. Long story short – when the manager asked how things were, I said that it was great, except that it’s not Dama’s (it was a Mexican establishment) but rather Damas; I mean, it’s an easy mistake to use the singular possessive instead of the plural, but it’s important that ALL the damas know that they are allowed to use that toilet as needed. That was the final straw! Since I enjoy eating out in the company of my family, I have acquiesced to the hubby’s request that I not ruin a nice time by going “all English teacher” when we are out in public together.

My students… well, that’s a different story. I will let them know when they have used their instead of there. I will remind them that it’s not the Jones’ dog but rather the Jones’s dog. And I will most assuredly remind them that run-on sentences are appalling, objectionable, and downright dreadful.

Yup – that’s the worst nightmare part right there.

But… but…

Think of it this way. If I can point out those malevolent little comma splices, won’t that make you a better writer if you can avoid them in the future?

(The answer is yes, by the way)

If I remind you that you need to vary your sentence structure, won’t that make your writing become more vivid when you start with those structures next time?

(Again, answer yes here)

AND… (wait – aren’t you not supposed to start a sentence with and? Shhh – I’m making a point) if I ask you to give more sensory details so I can “see” the event that you are describing, won’t that help you make your essay as interesting as can be when revising for your final draft?

(Um, yeah)

As a language teacher (two of them – English AND German) at Arizona Virtual Academy, where so much of the communication with my students is written, I see it all—the good, the not quite good but getting there, and the “get thee to a thesaurus.” But don’t worry, I won’t always blog about grammar. Here on the thinktanK I will be providing a “behind-the-scenes” peek into what life is like for a virtual education teacher. I love my job, especially helping my students become better writers, and I’d like for you to see why. If you ever have any questions about anything I blog about—or just have questions about online learning, please feel free to comment on my posts. I promise I won’t critique your grammar! So you see, while I can be your worst nightmare, I am also your best friend. Just make sure you write your dog instead of you’re dog, OK?

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